Its like this....

My ipod as i found out wont charge and probably because the case i used for it is magnitized, and so is the inside as Josh used my bracelet to figure out! anyway, my ipod seriously gets me so pissed off i cry! But i think its just the fact that if you add onto the stress i've got now, plus adding one more tiny thing just sends me off the brink of sanity into the pool of insanity! This is something i wrote a day or two ago!


The waters cold... cold and well... just cold... oh yeah and murky to. I guess that's how i'd describe what's really going on deep down. Just a bunch of crap and friends behind you making chicken noises in the background to get you to just dive in! But then there could be snakes, water snakes and bugs and well what if you drown? What if you forgot how to swim?!


Hmm seems like everyone but me is ready to dive into the water, in its unknown depths... but sometimes i think there's something waiting for me, just waiting for me to jump in so it can pounce on me and then something bad'll happen like usual! Or maybe i'm over reacting and the murky relfection of me isnt wearing that goofy grin that's just plastered there on her face, waiting for someone to rescue her!


Maybe the water's fine... and maybe we all every once and a while have to jump in and see what's really hidden beneath the nasty surface, there could be something good down there right? Maybe and maybe not so why not just jump on in.... i mean everyone says the waters fine right? They wouldnt lie to me would they?


(now to add more to it) People lie all the time! So the water could be alligator infested and they would probably lie to me just to get me in! And then the alligators would eat me and then i'd probably die! Can't it be enough that i'm standing here at the edge my toes barely touching the water? I mean why should i jump in? Change sucks.... so maybe the water represents change? I dont know but it seems like if i jump in then i'll drown... and no one will save me from the cold depths!


But it couldnt be that bad right? It shouldnt matter should it? I should be able to do what i want and not be pressured into taking a dive into the water... but as everyone says its fine... i mean how could it not be? I guess i'll take the dive... what could it hurt anyway?