Sometimes...

Life can throw you interesting curves you just have to know which ones to catch....

Free At Last

Lately i've been losing friends left and right but i've also been making new ones just as quickly. I've gotten rid of these people simlpy because they hinder me in growing up, as i talked to my mom about this she was very happy to hear that was finally maturing a little bit. When i told my dad his response, "I've been wondering when you'd start growing up." I have to make all A's and i'm tired of people dictating my life and calling themselves friends, i have a lot of work to do but BlAde said i've been so much more happier lately and i couldnt agree more. Its high time i grow up and stop acting like a child, because i'm not. I'm not saying there wont be days when i do i will but i'm not going to run around acting like an idiot either.

In other news tomrrow i'm talking Melissa out for a while to watch a movie along with Andrea we're going to see Vampires Suck it came out today but as school would have it i get out at 3:50 and tomrrow i'll get out at 10:50 see a big time difference?! I do! Peace out!

The Answer Please?!

Finally i've done it, and yet my heart pounded so hard in my chest i felt like throwing up. Afterwards i called BlAde and replayed everything i had done, "You did the right thing." He whispered groggily. Yet i have to wonder did i? I think back on the good times and say no and i look back to the past weeks and i say yes. I guess i'm just emotionally drained and tired of all this, i'm tired of hearing the same thing over again. I'm ready to just grow up and be myself, i'm ready to just finally be me! I've lost so many friends as soon as i left high school, wether it was my own doing of just letting them go, or there doing them not trying to catch up with me.

This year i swore would be different and it has been, some people i met i've been keeping up with them and they dont even try to keep up with me so this year after high school i cut them loose. I've lost so many along the way and yet i feel it was finally time for me to grow up, or as my mom says Mature the big M word no one likes to hear. Yeah i still do stupid things, i still do childish things but i'm learning as i continue to grow what is really stupid and what's fun. I dont know just my ramblings but, i guess a childish well not really childish just sorta weird is me and Jeremy at work we joke about me having Squaids which is Squirrel Aids, supposedly i have them, not childish just fun and it helps pass the time at work.

Going to the drive in and just having fun not running around in circles trying to get my feelings out only to be pushed back down with stupid remarks and idioticay! At this point i know i've probably offended someone but i dont care, its time i stop caring what everyone thinks about me and care what i think! It's time i grow up and i think i'm doing a good job of that, yeah i would love to still stay a kid but i've thrown out all childish ideas, and i'm fixin to start college in a week. It scares me but i think i'm finally happy with where i stand in life and what i want. Finally...

I'm...

Begning to think i'm taking on more than i can handle. I dont know just another weird ramble i'm doing. Nothing much is going on 'cept the party of like 8 i invited to go to the drive-in with me and Megan have increased to like 15! No joke everyone now and there brother is coming and i know most of them its just i kinda wanted my carload of kids and that's it... but whatever we dont always get what we want. Peace out!

Lake Trip!

Haha i had an awesome time at the lake after watching the first episode of Supernatural and trying hard to not watch the second episode we set off to pick up BlAde. Then we "tried" to pick up Megan.... hehe i forgot where she lived so i had to turn around and find her road then i forgot what house was hers anyway! We finally got there and paid and i was so happy on the way back when Megan said my music was better! :) i put a lot of time to get a playlist started for the Lake!

So we got there and there was seaweed! Ahhh i hate that tangled on my feet its so weird! So me and Megan decided that we would jump off the diving board, we got to the second one and held hands and counted to three than jumped. We got up to the surface and Megan was like, "The water spanked me!" Sure enough on her upper thigh there was a giant red spot by the end of the day it was this huge bruise!

There was also a slide to and well its meant for little kids i have a bruise on my foot from it slamming into the rocks, but it was soooo fun!!!!!! So that was my day at the lake and i'd love to go back again sometime it was really fun even with Andrea accidently flashing us! Her tunic strap broke and she had on a white T-shirt sooo yeah....

Worried...

It's been 5 days... if nothing has changed by Friday i'll talk to Andrea and we'll call check up make sure she's ok... i'm just worried about her so worried. 5 days is a long time...

Sleep Never Again

Ok i've been able to sleep now for 2 good days! Of course this morning i'd only just settle down and fall asleep for oh say 2 hrs to be woken up by mom's alarm clock! *sigh* then i was up till like i dont know 8:30 fell asleep again and then woke up at like 10:30. So all in all 4hrs of sleep, plus i've finished my most recent aquired Maxium Ride novel and am currently waiting for 2011 when the next one will be out.... yeah and the reason i'm not sleeping... drumroll please! *drumrolls*

I have no idea! I honestly don't, i just for whatever reason can't sleep. Mom says its cause something's bothering me... but i didnt think anything was bothering me. Except for my obession with lemonade now. Maybe there is and maybe i'm wrong i dont know anymore. I feel like i have so much in my head but i can't get out on here because it wont stay still long enough for me to get a coherent thought! Grrrr! All i can think of is what Jeremy said at work which was really funny! I dont know maybe i'm being weird... grrr i need some cereal!

Sooooo...

It goes a little something like this! Just had to say that, lately i've been... hmmm well i guess distant. I've been venturing out on my own with other friends... just Andie and BlAde and work has been singing the same tune that if i dont show up they'll fire me so i must go in. But apparently in a former life when i was Bulma i dated Jeremy (Yamcha) and married Bobby (Vageta) and had a kid with him, praying its Matt, (Trunks). So my life is nothing special i go in the 28th for placement testing at 2. Friday i'm scampering off with Andie to the lake and if its ok with her BlAde will join us and we'll pack us a nice picnic.

I dont know really what else to say except everything on here seems to be like really depressing. I can't believe i'm going to college i'm so scared. I wanna meet new people and branch out and finally experience life! I just want to spread my wings and fly, but i'm a shy person so the chances of me making new friends right off the bat will be 0-0! Oh well, lately its like i've been... i dont know it feels like ditching my old friends but i just have no desire to hang out with them i have my reasons why but i wont say them on here.

My only question is what if i give them up? ... What if we never speak again? Then what if i want to spend time with them, would they welcome me back or shun me? Lately i've been dealing with those questions, and many more some are outspoken and some i just sit there and play nice wishing to get away. I feel like the Plague, eh just me being i dont know paranoid or is it because i'm tired? Sometimes i dont know if i really wanna go into the medical field... i feel the passion of writing which is so strong and i just want to write for the rest of my life but i dont know anymore! I cant just all of sudden say hey i cant do this! I want to do writing not the medical field but i can't and won't say anything because even i dont know if that's what i truly want to do but even as i write this its something i'll always want to do.

I'll always want to write and i'm passionate about it, i want that to be my job i want to write books to be an author but i'll be a good girl and get my medical degree since when did writing ever earn any money anyway?