The Answer Please?!

Finally i've done it, and yet my heart pounded so hard in my chest i felt like throwing up. Afterwards i called BlAde and replayed everything i had done, "You did the right thing." He whispered groggily. Yet i have to wonder did i? I think back on the good times and say no and i look back to the past weeks and i say yes. I guess i'm just emotionally drained and tired of all this, i'm tired of hearing the same thing over again. I'm ready to just grow up and be myself, i'm ready to just finally be me! I've lost so many friends as soon as i left high school, wether it was my own doing of just letting them go, or there doing them not trying to catch up with me.

This year i swore would be different and it has been, some people i met i've been keeping up with them and they dont even try to keep up with me so this year after high school i cut them loose. I've lost so many along the way and yet i feel it was finally time for me to grow up, or as my mom says Mature the big M word no one likes to hear. Yeah i still do stupid things, i still do childish things but i'm learning as i continue to grow what is really stupid and what's fun. I dont know just my ramblings but, i guess a childish well not really childish just sorta weird is me and Jeremy at work we joke about me having Squaids which is Squirrel Aids, supposedly i have them, not childish just fun and it helps pass the time at work.

Going to the drive in and just having fun not running around in circles trying to get my feelings out only to be pushed back down with stupid remarks and idioticay! At this point i know i've probably offended someone but i dont care, its time i stop caring what everyone thinks about me and care what i think! It's time i grow up and i think i'm doing a good job of that, yeah i would love to still stay a kid but i've thrown out all childish ideas, and i'm fixin to start college in a week. It scares me but i think i'm finally happy with where i stand in life and what i want. Finally...