Everytime i hear it

It just makes a hollow ringing in my ear like i cant really believe it. I've been questioning my friendship with just about everyone i hold close and with everyone that's swore to stick with me. Confidence.... yeah what a concept that i could on for ages.... i dont have much, never did have much and probably will die with once again not much of it! It just seems that when you hear it and know something will die, you start to reflect on your own life and that's usually when i just leave the universe for some time, my mind welcomes me back with open arms so i can just deal with it.

I hate death, and i wish i wasnt so afraid because it seems like everyone i know and talk to isnt afraid to go. They die peacefully, i'll be the one breaking that trend! I'll fight for my last breath because i'm so terrified of death! It seems like everything... everyone revolves around it we know its going to happen but we just dont know when. This week will be one of an emotional high and low so if one minute i'm super pissed and the next i'm depressed think nothing of it. Its just next week wont be one i'd like to remember. And right now i just wanna get this off my chest and this is really to no one its just something i wanted to say.

I love you and i always will love you remember that! And i'm sorry things didnt happen like i wish they would have, but know that i still love you with every last bit of my beating heart.