On the outside looking in.

Do you ever feel like that? That your on the outside looking in? It sucks really, I'm not emotionally strong i'll say that for one and for number two i have a horrible habit of taking peoples problems and trying to solve them. Something that i'm not getting better/learning not to do. I always feel like i can solve someones problem now matter how big it is... guess you could say i'm trying to play God. I dont mean to its just i dont like seeing people down. I think that's mostly why i'm down a lot these days, i see all my friends and there problems and they become mine to the point i have to have someone slap me and tell me i cant solve their problem and to just get over it!

Even then i'm by their side anyway trying my best to help them. Could it be the type of person that i am? Or is it that i'm just so obsessed with them and their problems and trying to fix it that i would demise my own happiness just to help? and by help i mean make worse because i seem to be doing that a lot lately. Well its a good thing people hardly take my advice, heck far i dont even think i'd take my own advice and that says a lot... or does it?

Oh well, anyway that's mostly why i'm getting a job in the Health field anyway, i just want to help people. I like when people depend on me sometimes... ya know? it just makes me feel needed instead of the usual outside looking in. I know that seems completely silly and it probably is but i just want to help people so bad i would destroy any chance of happiness to make them feel better... i think i might be OCD... a little anyway what do you guys think?

But am i the only one who does that? please tell me i'm not! and if i am refer me to the best crazy doctor you know because i think i should be in there! I hear they serve brownies on Wed.... just kidding! Or am i? hmmm yes that would seem to be the question before you... or us... or me.... crap i'm confused again... i'm also going through text withdraw. I left my cell phone at my dads house so i cant text but i am however watching anime. Ouran High School Host Club to be exact. they did have it in japanese and i've seen it before in japanese then they did it in english and Vic (whose last name i now know how to say but wont spell because i can't) plays as Tamaki isnt that just wonderful?! Ok well.... hmmm its halfway done loading so i'm off to finish episode 2! bye now!

I've just noticed something.... i get off topic way to easy!

hahaha have fun reading this! its in different colors... mwahahaha although i'm not sure how that's evil.... it just is keh?