Worried...

It's been 5 days... if nothing has changed by Friday i'll talk to Andrea and we'll call check up make sure she's ok... i'm just worried about her so worried. 5 days is a long time...

Sleep Never Again

Ok i've been able to sleep now for 2 good days! Of course this morning i'd only just settle down and fall asleep for oh say 2 hrs to be woken up by mom's alarm clock! *sigh* then i was up till like i dont know 8:30 fell asleep again and then woke up at like 10:30. So all in all 4hrs of sleep, plus i've finished my most recent aquired Maxium Ride novel and am currently waiting for 2011 when the next one will be out.... yeah and the reason i'm not sleeping... drumroll please! *drumrolls*

I have no idea! I honestly don't, i just for whatever reason can't sleep. Mom says its cause something's bothering me... but i didnt think anything was bothering me. Except for my obession with lemonade now. Maybe there is and maybe i'm wrong i dont know anymore. I feel like i have so much in my head but i can't get out on here because it wont stay still long enough for me to get a coherent thought! Grrrr! All i can think of is what Jeremy said at work which was really funny! I dont know maybe i'm being weird... grrr i need some cereal!

Sooooo...

It goes a little something like this! Just had to say that, lately i've been... hmmm well i guess distant. I've been venturing out on my own with other friends... just Andie and BlAde and work has been singing the same tune that if i dont show up they'll fire me so i must go in. But apparently in a former life when i was Bulma i dated Jeremy (Yamcha) and married Bobby (Vageta) and had a kid with him, praying its Matt, (Trunks). So my life is nothing special i go in the 28th for placement testing at 2. Friday i'm scampering off with Andie to the lake and if its ok with her BlAde will join us and we'll pack us a nice picnic.

I dont know really what else to say except everything on here seems to be like really depressing. I can't believe i'm going to college i'm so scared. I wanna meet new people and branch out and finally experience life! I just want to spread my wings and fly, but i'm a shy person so the chances of me making new friends right off the bat will be 0-0! Oh well, lately its like i've been... i dont know it feels like ditching my old friends but i just have no desire to hang out with them i have my reasons why but i wont say them on here.

My only question is what if i give them up? ... What if we never speak again? Then what if i want to spend time with them, would they welcome me back or shun me? Lately i've been dealing with those questions, and many more some are outspoken and some i just sit there and play nice wishing to get away. I feel like the Plague, eh just me being i dont know paranoid or is it because i'm tired? Sometimes i dont know if i really wanna go into the medical field... i feel the passion of writing which is so strong and i just want to write for the rest of my life but i dont know anymore! I cant just all of sudden say hey i cant do this! I want to do writing not the medical field but i can't and won't say anything because even i dont know if that's what i truly want to do but even as i write this its something i'll always want to do.

I'll always want to write and i'm passionate about it, i want that to be my job i want to write books to be an author but i'll be a good girl and get my medical degree since when did writing ever earn any money anyway?