What possesed her to ask

Whatever possesed Mom to ask me the question she did still makes me think. She and i and my aunt were walking the dogs around the road, all was quiet until she turned to me and asked, "Its hard for you to make friends isnt it?" i was so stunned by the question.
Mom had never asked me this before, had never inquired my shyness to be of a problem.

"Well... yeah kinda." I admitted stopping when Ace stopped.

"Why is that?" She asked in all seriousness. Again i was shocked, why was she asking me this? She knew i was a very shy person, but she never said really anything about it. Nothing to make me question just what she was getting at anyway.

"Um i dont know, i just dont like to talk to people i dont know." I finally said feeling the tug of the leash. We started walking again and i stared at Rosie as she began digging into the ground pulling Kathy along with her. I thought about when i was smaller, i didnt care if you knew me or not i would always stop and tell you my name and ask for yours in return.
Starting around 4th grade i became unbearbly shy.

"You know, when i was in High School i was shy to, i didnt hardly talk to anybody. I didnt have many friends either. But when i graduated i guess i grew out of that and i began to talk to more and more people." She said.

'People that you dont even know. Mom you and Kathy are the most social butterflies in this house!' I thought. Her hope was for me to probably grow out of my shyness, and be more of a social butterfly. Honestly i want to break my out my shyness, i can barely talk to new people without my nervous laugh and my ability to talk faster than normal comes in! I gasp for breath and blush crimson. I'm incapitated by my own fear of talking to people i dont know.

I have never really once thought about my shyness as a weakness... but i sometimes think about how people see me as. Usually i feel they see me as some stuck up prud! To good to talk to anybody but her friends, in all fairness that's not true. I'm not stuck up, and i'm not trying to be rude to anyone. Its just i'm afraid to talk to people i dont know, its hard for me and it leaves me breathless.

I spurt apologies that usually start or end every sentence and most people just give up and or get annoyed! What i've learned from all this is to mostly keep to myself, not talk to anyone really but my friends. Hopefully i can break the habit of apologizing when i dont need to, nervous laughs that go with crimson red cheeks and not being so breathless after the conversation is finally over. Hopefully my heart wont pound so bad, my breath wont be caught... hopefully that'll be soon.

I was talking to Jazz one day, and we were talking about death and she said for her funeral she wanted the song, 'Leave out all the rest' By: Linkin Park to be played. Honestly now so do i.