Just Ramble On...

Life is changing as we know it. Some things i'm glad i did and other i'm saddened by. I feel as if i dont know any of my old friends any more. As for the new ones i'm getting there, i'm ready for the summer to come so this homesickness that i feel will stop but i know it will continue to grow and gnaw at my insides and threaten to burst. Right now its as if i made a stable home and have left it, i have seen what it will be like and personally i love it. i can be me and everything just fall into place perfectly as it should and everything be ok. Am i sorry i lost the people i have? Not really no, in fact i might go as far as to say it was for the best and i wish them well in life. I am sorry however it ended the way it did. I felt like i was kept from growing, maybe i was and maybe i'm wrong i am like everyone one else however known to be wrong. The one thing i miss i cant have not right now, but i will its as if i work toward the goal only for it to be snatched out and held away again, the Puppeteer simply telling me to slow down i'll get there but first i need to walk. Everything will go into place as it should, i just wish things would go faster. School back on thursday and i'm not ready to go back...

Sometimes...

Life can throw you interesting curves you just have to know which ones to catch....

Free At Last

Lately i've been losing friends left and right but i've also been making new ones just as quickly. I've gotten rid of these people simlpy because they hinder me in growing up, as i talked to my mom about this she was very happy to hear that was finally maturing a little bit. When i told my dad his response, "I've been wondering when you'd start growing up." I have to make all A's and i'm tired of people dictating my life and calling themselves friends, i have a lot of work to do but BlAde said i've been so much more happier lately and i couldnt agree more. Its high time i grow up and stop acting like a child, because i'm not. I'm not saying there wont be days when i do i will but i'm not going to run around acting like an idiot either.

In other news tomrrow i'm talking Melissa out for a while to watch a movie along with Andrea we're going to see Vampires Suck it came out today but as school would have it i get out at 3:50 and tomrrow i'll get out at 10:50 see a big time difference?! I do! Peace out!

The Answer Please?!

Finally i've done it, and yet my heart pounded so hard in my chest i felt like throwing up. Afterwards i called BlAde and replayed everything i had done, "You did the right thing." He whispered groggily. Yet i have to wonder did i? I think back on the good times and say no and i look back to the past weeks and i say yes. I guess i'm just emotionally drained and tired of all this, i'm tired of hearing the same thing over again. I'm ready to just grow up and be myself, i'm ready to just finally be me! I've lost so many friends as soon as i left high school, wether it was my own doing of just letting them go, or there doing them not trying to catch up with me.

This year i swore would be different and it has been, some people i met i've been keeping up with them and they dont even try to keep up with me so this year after high school i cut them loose. I've lost so many along the way and yet i feel it was finally time for me to grow up, or as my mom says Mature the big M word no one likes to hear. Yeah i still do stupid things, i still do childish things but i'm learning as i continue to grow what is really stupid and what's fun. I dont know just my ramblings but, i guess a childish well not really childish just sorta weird is me and Jeremy at work we joke about me having Squaids which is Squirrel Aids, supposedly i have them, not childish just fun and it helps pass the time at work.

Going to the drive in and just having fun not running around in circles trying to get my feelings out only to be pushed back down with stupid remarks and idioticay! At this point i know i've probably offended someone but i dont care, its time i stop caring what everyone thinks about me and care what i think! It's time i grow up and i think i'm doing a good job of that, yeah i would love to still stay a kid but i've thrown out all childish ideas, and i'm fixin to start college in a week. It scares me but i think i'm finally happy with where i stand in life and what i want. Finally...

I'm...

Begning to think i'm taking on more than i can handle. I dont know just another weird ramble i'm doing. Nothing much is going on 'cept the party of like 8 i invited to go to the drive-in with me and Megan have increased to like 15! No joke everyone now and there brother is coming and i know most of them its just i kinda wanted my carload of kids and that's it... but whatever we dont always get what we want. Peace out!

Lake Trip!

Haha i had an awesome time at the lake after watching the first episode of Supernatural and trying hard to not watch the second episode we set off to pick up BlAde. Then we "tried" to pick up Megan.... hehe i forgot where she lived so i had to turn around and find her road then i forgot what house was hers anyway! We finally got there and paid and i was so happy on the way back when Megan said my music was better! :) i put a lot of time to get a playlist started for the Lake!

So we got there and there was seaweed! Ahhh i hate that tangled on my feet its so weird! So me and Megan decided that we would jump off the diving board, we got to the second one and held hands and counted to three than jumped. We got up to the surface and Megan was like, "The water spanked me!" Sure enough on her upper thigh there was a giant red spot by the end of the day it was this huge bruise!

There was also a slide to and well its meant for little kids i have a bruise on my foot from it slamming into the rocks, but it was soooo fun!!!!!! So that was my day at the lake and i'd love to go back again sometime it was really fun even with Andrea accidently flashing us! Her tunic strap broke and she had on a white T-shirt sooo yeah....

Worried...

It's been 5 days... if nothing has changed by Friday i'll talk to Andrea and we'll call check up make sure she's ok... i'm just worried about her so worried. 5 days is a long time...